hi everyone. great job on surviving the the worst pride month in all of human history. i can't even begin to get into literally any topic approaching politics or i will be arrested.

speaking of fbi watchlists: ive been perma'd again from twitter, this time however it lead me to realize that teens with residual anger over their favorite franchise ip man being a sociopath have been reporting me as a suicide risk for months lol. im working on trying to get it back. if you know anyone who works at twitter, tell them to hear my plea. or don't. it is what it is. i played with fire but in the end, teens are never getting freddy back. sorry teens. ha ha.

in the meanwhile you can follow me on twitter @ghoststorycomic where i post comic related things only (and update alerts!) or on my personal tumblr at beesmygod.

i just got back from a disney world trip and have a post i would like to make about the experience as a AHEM seasoned disney parks vet. lots of weird stuff to observe as the parks fall to pieces without union workers. did you know none of the imagineers have a non-compete clause, so when they quit to avoid having to move to florida, universal snapped them up. disney parks are turbo fucked and the cracks are already starting to show.

anyway: i hope july is less bad. its not looking likely. but. well. what choice do we have but to endure or impress jodie foster.

-bea

like most humans, i have to check wikipedia for various things and every time i do i manage to find something extremely weird or funny without trying. this month's round up also includes a snippet or two from my favorite "wiki" website: fextralife. these are some of the most useless wikis when it comes to trying to find information about any fromsoft game. but: the people who comment on them have created a strange ecosystem of trolling, complaining about how things are too hard/easy and increasingly esoteric attempts at piecing together lore.

this guy's really annoying ads sucking his own dick keep showing up in podcasts i listen to and finding out that he was a pick-up artist was surprising but also explained a lot about his dogshit technique at getting people to give him a chance.

wikitalk remains unbeatable for entertainment:

shitty old bitch pride

my boyfriend, adam, is my liaison to the world of pokemon, since my enjoyment of the franchise terminated at gold (dont get me started on "pokemon", the franchise). he made me aware of this insane shit they let get through editing: the mention of a real world location.

this is apparently not uncommon in pokemon, but when it happens it seems like its pretty clearly a gaffe or, in the case of lt. "THE LIGHTNING AMERICAN" surge, added before they really fleshed out the world of pokemon. this conversation reminded me that mew was found in guyana in red, but i somehow did not remember that yellow boldly declared that arcanine was a legendary pokemon in china (low threshold for legendaries over there i guess).

thank god raichu can electrocute all those indian elephants that also apparently co-exist with pokemon. i think its fucked up of god to have put the elephants at such a disadvantage.

cats experienced a cool, but gross toy (for cats).

audrey the ex-street cat is doing very, very well after a month of being extremely mad about being adopted. they've been slowly acclimating her to indoor life and despite becoming round often, she is much happier and healthier. she's had her rotten teeth pulled and her ear mites dealt with. she must be feeling much better :)

self-explanatory. dirt.

they clean him, hes just a railway cat and chooses to live like this.

okay, this isn't a cat, but i think it's big enough to count as an honorary cat. this is a bamboo rat. you shouldnt look them up if you think they are cute, bc they are factory farmed for food. that makes sense bc they're fat as shit. but they are awful cute. apparently they have sweet temperaments too.

here's a vid of someone petting some.

tumblr fucking whips ass. the notes i get are some of the most deranged sentences ever conceptualized by man. monkeys with typewriters couldn't do better. it retains a lot of the "old internet" earnestness and flavor that has been beaten out of mainstream corners of the internet for not being marketable enough. the current population of tumblr also seems to have aged to the point where these pockets of weirdness can be pointed out without the ops being dogpiled (i hope). the idea is to gesture to your fellow observers to look at what you found under this rock and then carefully, slowly put the rock back.

i got a weird note on a post recently that i couldn't immediately decode:

upon further inspection, it became apparent that these accounts are roleplaying as real life 1700s rival castrati. in broad daylight. where everyone can see! that's amazing! what a fucking tiny niche slice of fandom. you could have never anticipated the human brain would achieve this.

anyway, remember this wisdom next time you're trapped in a tedious conversation:

i dont remember what caused me to go off on children's books. i think maybe it was becoming aware of the existence of the seriously dreadful "anti-racist baby", a boardbook ostensibly aimed at literal infants that can only be seen as a cynical attempt to cash in on parent's anxiety and guilt. the wording choices from the book that they used for all of their promotional material is fucking weird. "bred" has such creepy overtones when you're talking about humans. like you're doing racism eugenics to create the ultimate un-racist baby.

you can see pretty much every page via google image search and it stinks! how is the language and presentations of this book acceptable for the age range a boardbook is aimed at! they're for babies who put them in their mouths! we're talking BABY babies!! i'm not saying the language is offensive when i say it's unacceptable, i mean it's inaccessible and too complex!! this is so clearly aimed at quelling something inside the parents in exchange for money that it's a little depressing.

i would like to make it clear (and i would hope if you chose to sign up for this newsletter you would know) that my problem is not with the concept of tackling racism at a young age. that's like. when you gotta do it!!! my problem is with this completely and utterly detached from reality attempt at combating it that involves explaining to your baby how congress works.

shut up! cailou looking ass

instead of simply bitching about it: here are some books i read growing up that are aimed at older readers (but if you want boardbook suggestions i have those too! :D) that i remembered fondly.

gerald mcdermott is an expert on mythology who i'm pretty sure also did the illustrations for his children's books. i just looked it up and he was a filmmaker too? slow down bitch. oh he did. he died. well, anyway this book rules. anansi is a fucking asshole.

a fairy tale similar to "little red riding hood", this book was SOOOO scary to me as a kid. like what if a wolf got you dude. you'd be fucked.

i wanted to be the girl javelina. i love her. she's so fashionable. anyway it's the three little pigs with a "southwestern kick". they build houses out of adobe and shit. it's great.

i love "sanji and the baker". the ending of it has been rattling around in my head for years. very satisfying little story. apparently tragically out of print now. grab whatever copy you can for the illustrations by korky paul as well. wait is his name really korky. that sucks dude.

i love robert munsch so much. i love the way he folded inuit mythology into a frank and easy to follow story about honesty and respecting your mom. also it's scary. look at these bitches!

another munsch but this time with an explicitly feminist take on princesses that has stuck with me for decades. the dragon also eats hella kids. huge body count in this story. lots of bones and shit.

this book scared me so bad in second grade i woke up crying. 10/10 would recommend to everyone.

well that's all. this was a long one. it's mostly pictures tho so. you can handle it. i hope. i hope this entertained you.

maybe i should have split this into two over the month. that didn't even occur to me until now. i'm such a dumbass lol. oh well, that's for next time.

if you hated this, let me know so i can do less like it. if you liked it, let me know so i can do more. if you didn't read it, don't tell me.

well. see ya!